The Answer To Everything Is Avoidance

The other day I heard from a friend whom recently started to date someone seriously.  From the outside looking in, everything seemed to be going well between the two of them – smiles, laughter, common values, etc, both seemingly to be equally smitten by each other.  Then one day after she left his house she hadn’t heard back from him again!  Suddenly everything they discussed moving forward with just stopped! 

Of course she asked herself a ton of questions she couldn’t answer to why that was so, because he specifically explained prior to his disappearance that if it didn’t feel right he would be upfront about it.  Now she had that extra weight on her shoulders wondering all day if he’d ever call, ever text back and mostly just wanting to make sure he was okay.  Okay in the sense that he wasn’t in the hospital because he was very ill the week leading up that day and also for some incidence he didn’t wind up in jail.  Like most women who have that nurturing instinct, she first put that forth in her mind, hoping and praying that she didn’t become a victim of sudden avoidance or what men often refer to as “Ditch the Bitch”. 

I don’t get how the answer to everything in any kind of relationship is avoidance.  Many people use it as a tool.  It doesn’t do anybody good, including the person who is doing the avoiding.  I’m glad my friend found this out sooner than later, but it still doesn’t make it right.  A lot of people out there only think of themselves, and in some cases that is okay.  But when you make someone a PART of YOUR life, they become a part of the bigger picture along with you, so just be honest with them no matter if it hurts them to hear it or hurts you to say it.  Some people don’t see how that is respected more and also gives the avoided person a lesser guilt-ridden feeling.  They will start questioning themselves in the long run, which doesn’t help the world go around that’s for sure.  I mean think about it – people are honest in business whether it hurts someone or not because they know what is right, so why not do it in relationships too?

What is your opinion on why people suddenly avoid a potentially strong growing relationship?  Do you think it’s a phobia of commitment even though their heart wants to be in a relationship?  Do you think the person who is being avoided had something to do with it?  I want to hear from others to get a better insight and so other readers can too!